


Four Cheese Clover Burger (Comes with Four Kinds of Cheese)

by allmilhouse



Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Kissing, M/M, St. Patrick's Day, Supportive Linda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-22 22:16:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13773687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmilhouse/pseuds/allmilhouse
Summary: Bob Belcher spent Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas of this year with his closest friend, Teddy. But after spending Valentine's Day with Gene, Bob felt something was missing, and after talking to Linda, he realizes it wassomeone. So, with his wife's coaching and encouragement, Bob tries to get some alone time with Teddy on the next holiday- St Patrick's Day.





	Four Cheese Clover Burger (Comes with Four Kinds of Cheese)

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by s8- basically all of it. After each new holiday episode, I pretty much yelled "oh my god!" at my tv. Especially that Halloween one- I still might do something standalone for that. Anyway, there's a tonne of references to this season.

“Lin, is it weird that we didn’t do anything with Teddy tonight?” Bob Belcher watched his wife pause before joining him in bed.

“Teddy? Why would we do anything with Teddy? It’s-” Linda stopped, looking around instinctively for Tina, who couldn’t stand hearing the day mentioned, “it’s Valentine’s Day, Bobby. Besides, Teddy had big tv plans."

Bob fiddled with his hands while remembering that yes, Teddy had planned to spend Valentine’s Day alone, watching Law and Order. He still felt uncomfortable however, and Linda didn’t seem to understand.

“No, but we have been spending a lot of holidays with him lately. Remember Halloween?”

“You mean you spent Halloween with him,” Linda corrected, “poppin’ pills and thinking he was a werewolf!”

“True. But what about Thanksgiving?” Bob pressed.

“Bob, you love Thanksgiving. You volunteered us to clean out his house just so you could cook an extra dinner.”

He smiled ruefully, but was undeterred. “What about Christmas?” he finally said. “We had fun at Christmas with Teddy!”

Linda frowned. “Bobby, did you hit your head with the flying Belcher Boys tonight? We didn’t spend Christmas with Teddy. We chased after the kids, who followed the Bleaken to an underground pop-up club.”

“After the club!” Bob insisted, getting worked up. “On the way out, with Teddy in the snow and-” he trailed off, and Linda watched him with concern. He had had a trying night taking an acrobatics lesson with Gene, and she was seriously worried he had a concussion. Especially now, as he’d gone from passionately yelling about Teddy to staring off into space silently.

“Bob,” she said hesitantly. “Bob, what’s going on? Why did you want to spend tonight with Teddy?”

“I-I don’t know, Lin,” he said softly. “For some reason, it felt like he was part of the family for a while. I don’t know, it just seemed like something was missing tonight.”

She reached out and held his hand. He looked up at her hopefully, but she still wore a worried expression.

“There’s something I should probably tell you. You’ve been talking in your sleep. Real chatty when you’re snoozing.”

“Talking?” Bob asked. “Wha- what do I say?”

“Well, you talk about Teddy. A lot. I didn’t think anything about it at first, because, well, he’s your best friend. But maybe you’ve got Teddy on the brain lately.”

“Hmm,” he considered. “What do I say about Teddy?”

Linda smiled. “Well, mostly you talk about burgers.” Her smiled faded. “But last night, you kept saying ‘oh Teddy, that feels good’.”

“What?” Bob shrieked. “I don’t know why I would say that!”

“Maybe because you spent apparently spent Christmas with him,” Linda snapped. “Left your family at a gay bar to go find Teddy!”

“It wasn’t like that, Linda!” he yelled back. “I straddled him in the snow and we shared a Santa suit!”

They glared at each other for a second before both bursting into laughs. The absurdity of the situation had hit them, and even Bob had to admit his defense there sounded pretty ridiculous. They stopped laughing and looked down, noticing they were still holding hands. Linda smiled softly and looked at Bob.

“So, what are you telling me here, Bobby?”

“I don’t know, Lin,” he mumbled. “I love you, that I do know. But I’ve been thinking about Teddy a lot lately. And dreaming about him too, I guess.”

“Well, the kids like him,” Linda reasoned.

“We’d have to explain it to them, if we do make a decision.” Bob worried.

Linda sighed. “We still have a lot to explain to them. We should’ve talked to Gene years ago.”

 

———————————–

 

They did come to a decision, after about a week of emotional conversations. Linda knew Bob was bi- she always had. And she always listened patiently when he talked about guys he liked (the guy from the deli that one thanksgiving, the guy from that toy store, etc) just like he did when she went on and on about Tom Selleck. But this was different. Despite her earlier comments, Teddy was basically family. He was a constant presence in their lives, the kids knew him as Uncle Teddy, he joined them for lunch every day!

And looking back, Linda had to admit she should’ve seen this coming. But now the day was here, and she was honestly excited about it- much more so than Bob himself.

"Soooo, have you talked to him yet?" she asked, peeking her head through the door to the restaurant's kitchen.

"Ahh! What? No, I mean, he just got here," Bob reasoned. "I don't want to scare him off or anything."

"Mm, ok, but let me know before you make your big move. You know how I love a big romantic gesture!" Linda left the kitchen, singing a love song she was making up on the fly.

"That's a nice song, Linda," Teddy commented from his usual seat at the counter. "Still feelin' that Valentine's spirit?"

"I'm not, but Bobby is," she said in a teasing voice. 

"Ooh, cryptic. Well, I'd love to stay and find out, but I gotta get back to work. Trying to finish early so I can get home and wrap up the fourth season of Law and Order. Did you know it ran for twenty years? Because I did not. But that's why they call it a marathon, and not a sprint. Ha! Oh, I'm tired." Teddy got up from his seat and walked backwards to the door.

"Wait, no no no no no! You can't leave yet Teddy! Bob still has to talk to you!"

"He can talk with Mort," Teddy replied, pointing to the man in question still sitting at the counter. "Sorry Linda, I really have to go." And without another word, Teddy was gone.

"Bob needs someone to talk to?" Mort asked worriedly.

'Stay out of this Mort!" Linda snapped, turning back to the kitchen. "Bobby! Teddy's gone!"

"What?!" Bob shrieked. "But he didn't even stay for a second cup of coffee!"

"I know he didn't stay for a second cup of coffee! I tried to make him stay, but he was determined to go. Oh Bobby, what are you gonna do?" Linda reached out and hugged her husband, deeply sorry for him. She only wanted to make him happy, and she worried that the longer he and Teddy didn't get together, the more likely Bob would lose his nerve, and never work up the courage to make his move. She generally loved being the more dominant partner in the marriage, but for once she was wishing Bob had more of her confidence and assertiveness. "Hey now! I just got a brilliant idea!"

Bob backed out of the hug apprehensively. "What's the idea?" he asked, taking on a defensive pose. He knew Linda's ideas, and they usually backfired, almost always on him.

"You should be more like me!" she exclaimed. "Remember when we got together? That never would've happened if I didn't talk to you. You're my shy guy, and I love it, but maybe if you act more like me, you'll have better luck."

Bob nodded. "That-that sounds like it might work. And it sounds easier than getting in shape, or changing my personality."

 

———————————–

 

In three short weeks, Bob was quickly learning that it wasn't easy becoming more like Linda. He was just not a naturally assertive guy, and every attempt he made to be more outgoing or handsy around Teddy was falling flat. One particularly regretful lunch involved Bob actually feeding Teddy some fries. Even days later he still cringes thinking about that. Linda was convinced this would work sooner or later, but as February turned to March, Bob was beginning to lose hope. He just couldn't make it work, and no matter how hard Linda pushed him, it simply wasn't working.

Worst of all, Teddy was spending less and less time at the restaurant. Apparently Law and Order really had a hold in him, and he was still working his schedule around his binge watching. But Bob found it devastating. He missed being around Teddy, even if it was just platonic joking over the counter.

And maybe that was the trick to getting Teddy. “Linda! Linda, I’ve got it!” he yelled in delight.

“What? What are you talking about?” Linda asked concerned, rushing into the kitchen, but Bob was already shedding his apron and putting down the spatula.

“I’ve got _Teddy_. I know how I can win him over.”

“Right now? At 2pm on a Wednesday? Won’t he be working?” Linda questioned.

“Crap,” he said, defeated. “And he hasn’t be returning any calls. I guess I’ll have to catch him at lunch tomorrow-”

“If he comes by,” Linda added.

“Oh my god. Yes, if he comes by.” He looked up, and his eyes fell on the calendar by the door. “Wait a minute, tomorrow is St Patrick’s Day. This is perfect! It’ll work even better!”

“What will? Bobby, you still haven’t told me your plan yet!” Linda whined.

“Well, I don’t want to jinx it, but I think the trick is being myself.”

Linda gasped. “Just like in all those self-esteem books we bought for Tina!”

“Yeah! I mean, no, this is a little different,” Bob tried to argue. “I’m trying to get my friend’s attention, hoping he’ll notice me and have feelings for me and- oh my god, I’m exactly like Tina.”

“Like daughter like father,” Linda said helpfully, patting him on the arm.

 

———————————–

 

The next day Bob woke up stressed and irritable. The morning dragged on, and the wait until lunchtime felt interminable. Fortunately business was slow, and he was able to hang around out front, waiting to ambush Teddy the second he came through the door.

The bell jingled at ten past twelve, and the familiar rotund sight of Teddy strolled in, slightly more leisurely than he had in the past few weeks. He wore a green shirt, but other than that he looked the same as he sat in his usual seat at the counter.

"Hey Bob! Linda!” he nodded towards her, making coffee further down the counter. “Happy Saint Patrick’s Day everybody!”

“You seem to be in a good mood today,” Bob noted, getting excited.

“Yeah, work’s finally slowing down. It’s getting warmer out, so I’m not dealing with frozen pipes all hours of the night. Plus it’s a holiday, so legally I can drink!”

Bob smiled, sensing his chance. He leaned in to the counter, careful not to crowd Teddy too much. “About the holiday,” he began. “I was wondering if you wanted to-”

“Sure! I’ll do anything.”

“What? Teddy, I haven’t even said what it is yet,” Bob laughed.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ve been working so much, and that Law and Order just keeps coming with no end in sight. I haven’t done anything in a month. Plus I always have fun with you guys at the holidays!” He added cheerfully, as Bob’s heart sank. _You guys._ Teddy wanted to see the whole family, not just him. He tried to hide his disappointment as Teddy continued. “What did you have planned anyway?”

“Oh, it was nothing really, just-”

“He wants to go to a bar,” Linda jumped in, walking over. She saw Bob floundering and came to rescue him. He looked at her gratefully as she kept explaining. “Bob’s been overworked too lately, and he wanted to blow off steam. Maybe the two of you could go down to an Irish pub or something, and get into trouble with some green beers.”

Teddy’s eyes lit up. “Ooh, a boys night! Sounds fun, I’m in! I'll drop by after the dinner rush, alright?"

"Sounds perfect, Teddy. I'll uh, go get started on your lunch then." Bob couldn't hide his huge grin as he headed back into the kitchen, ready to continue the day with renewed confidence. With Linda here to bail him out, and Teddy excited to go out with him, he started to think just maybe he could pull this off.

 

———————————–

"So, this is nice, right?" Bob asked nervously, taking a sip of his beer just to have something to do. He thought the night was going well, at least. The conversation was easy, the drinks were good, he was loosening up. It was great being around Teddy again. He hadn't realized how much he simply missed spending time with the man.

"Yep! Thanks for asking me out tonight," Teddy grinned, taking a sip himself.

“Listen, Teddy,” he began, swallowing hard. “I had another reason for asking you out tonight. Something kind of personal.”

“Is this another intervention? Because I swear I haven’t been hoarding things anymore and you can come back to my place to check-”

Bob put his hands up in surrender. “No, no Teddy, that’s not it,” he said, interrupting the vehement denial. “No, this is about me.”

“Oh my god, you’re dying!”

“No! Stop trying to guess it!”

“Well sorry,” Teddy grumbled, “but you’re kind of keeping me in suspense here. Just tell me Bobby!”

“I like you, ok?” Bob yelled back. “That’s what this is all about! I like you Teddy, and I wanted you to know it!”

“You like me? I knew that Bob. I like you too. That’s why we hang out.” Teddy looked at Bob in confusion. He wasn’t getting the picture at all, and Bob was losing confidence by the second. He looked down for a minute, trying to find a way to explain, when he saw his phone light up on the bar. A text from Linda. _You can do this, Bobby! Go get your man!_

Newly determined, Bob looked back up and met Teddy’s hesitant smile. He reached over and held one of Teddy’s hands softly.

“Not as much as I like you,” he said. “To me, you’re like family. You’re so important to me, Linda says I’ve even been dreaming about you. I can’t explain it, but I feel like I need you around all the time.” He patted the hand before letting go. “I know this might be a surprise for you. It surprised me when I finally realized I had feelings for you. So you don’t have to say anything right away. I just, uh, wanted you to know how I feel about you.” Bob wrapped up his little speech by mercifully swallowing what was left of his beer. He was afraid to look back at Teddy and see what he was thinking.

“So you told Linda about this? She’s on board with everything?”

“Of course I told Linda,” Bob replied, surprised where the conversation was going. “She’s my wife and I love her.”

“But you love me too?” Teddy asked, sounding worried.

“Well, I mean, I don’t know if it’s love yet, but yeah, that’s the gist of it. I can’t explain it, ok!” Bob was starting to get frazzled. Reading Bob like a book, Teddy put a reassuring hand on Bob’s arm.

“Sorry for needling you,” he said. “This was a surprise, but a welcome one. I know how devoted you and Linda are though. I was confused for a minute.”

"So, you're ok with it too?" Bob asked, looking hopeful.

"I mean, I don't know how much you expect from me, but I love being around you Bob. If you want me to do something, I'm willing to give it a shot!" Teddy smiled, finally dropping his hand from Bob's arm to wring his hands together a little nervously. "Honest question though- how much do you expect from me?"

Bob shrugged. "More of this, really," he said, waving his hand between the two of them. "Spending time together, maybe you dropping by for family dinners more often. Going back to your house and catching a hockey game." He hesitated for a second. "Maybe, maybe we could even try kissing? Sometime, like in a while, after you get used to everything and-"

Teddy interrupted Bob's backpeddling by pulling him in for a kiss. It was more than a bit awkward, since Bob wasn't expecting it. They were both nervous, and both tasted like cheap beer, but when Teddy pulled back he was smiling, and Bob found he was smiling too.

"Sorry, I get impulsive when I'm nervous," Teddy apologized shyly. "But that wasn't too bad, right? And that was the kind of thing you wanted to do?"

"Thank you, Teddy," Bob said gratefully. "For that, and for understanding, and for being you. I-" He was cut off by his phone buzzing on the bar. Linda calling, impatiently waiting for a recap of the night. "Hmm. Guess that's the end for tonight."

"See you tomorrow at lunch?"

Bob grinned again. "Sure thing, Teddy. It's a date."


End file.
